Jasper's diary
by LadyLackless
Summary: I'm not a Vampire  I'm a werewolf  but I did steal Jasper's diary once. From the first page I knew that this was gonna be a good one...  T to be safe ... R&R JasperXOC/Alice...Confused yet?
1. New Scars and a piano song

I'm not a Vampire, but Caitlin is. Yet I once did steal Jasper's dairy (Soz izzy i put it back)  
From the first page I could tell it was gonna be a good one.  
Page 1  
Jasper Hale  
Screwing with your emotions since 1863  
pg 2  
- Jan 23rd 1942  
Bored again. Alice, rose and emmet went hunting. Esme is out looking at houses around the olympic pensula. Edward was playing the same song over and over again on the piano. Man that was anoying, I hear it once and its burned (ha i made a joke) into my mind forever. So I using my awesome skilz (i wonder if the z thing will catch on) I made him feel an inflatuation for Carlisle. I think i went a bit far though cuz now i got some new scars to go with my old ones  
- Aug 12th 1990  
I wonder what happend to Peeter and Charlotte. Still all these years and no news. I wonder if they were tracked down? Were going to the olympic pensula it took 28 years but Esme finaly found a ranshackle house to rebuild. Alice says its gonna look beautiful and Emmet is all worked up about the grizlies down there. Personly I'm more of a people person but my social skillz might be a downer. How do you make friends with someone who youv'e gone ahead and killed. You dont, Once more Edward is playing the SAME SONG! I need to get him some new sheet music or summink cuz for a brother he is driving me crazy! Emmet tryed to talk me into arm wrestling today, over my smoldering ashes am i gonna try and beat him again though the vamp is a brute! (The z thing caught on!)


	2. Messing with the Cullens

January 12th 1902

It was my birthday today. Not really a big celebration, Emmet and Edward took me hunting and I took down this huge fox. It tore my shirt however. I don't really care though, Alice wouldn't let me wear it again anywayz. EDWARD FINALY LEARNT A NEW SONG! And is now playing it again and a-f'in-gain. I am gonna sooooooooooooooo (deep breaths) dance over his smouldering ashes when someone takes things too far. We're going to see Tanya and the other Denalis that should be fun. Bakka. School seems to be getting easier but I don't wanna get ahead of myself. I still avoid breathing and control the emotions of people who get too close, just to get them outa my face. Even the teachers avoid me. Damn I must look like an emo, no strike that, goth. Without the black. Bakka.

I'm gonna go screw with Emmet's emotions next, hmmmm him and Edward. Nahhh, that'l just tick rose off. Got it.

To mess with

Emmet + Pot Plant

Rose + Mirror

Alice + erm. Stuck I dunno a tree

Carlisle + Syringe.

Any Esme Ideas?

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_**Author note**_

_**Hai! It's FAE! So how j'a like Jasper's diary? He is OC but I mean the Jasper in the books is borderline Marcus-Stu! (Male Mary-Sue)Anyhow What is Esme's mix-up gonna be. What do you think about the others? How are they gonna play out? **_

_**Jasper – Fae how could you, I'm a total nutcase**_

_**Fae – Don't bite the messenger!**_

_**Aken (From Dancing with darkness) – DONT GIVE HIM IDEAS!**_

_**Caitlin (see DWD) – GO FOR IT!**_

_**Fae – You just wanna shoot him don't you?**_

_**Caitlin - *BLUSH***_

_**Aken – Eye-vais!**_

_**Fae – damn!**_

_**Av (DWD) *Appears out of thin air* See ya next chapter folks!**_

_**Jak (DWD) *Runs up crying* that was my *sniffle* line!**_

_**Matt (DWD) *Demonform holding knife to Fae's throat* Read and Review or she gets It and then their will be no more Jasper's diary or dacing with darkness, and The girls and Aken wont be able to force me into clothes shopping!  
**_


	3. Messing with Emmet

_Disclamer - I own none of the twilight characters and no copywright enfragment intended. I however own the plot, Aken, Jak, Jess, Av, Caitlin, Samantha, Faechan, Matt, Davilo, Lyanne, Crystal, Kara, Karu, Rose, Glindia, Tallon, Sevan, Fredrick, Jason, Hassai, Quin, A couple of random kids, and a puzzled teddy!_

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_Thanx to - Caitlin Worsey - Mitchell Simpson - Faechan - Rose Cumming - Samuel/Samantha Tuggwell, Aka Tuggers - Jess Luck - Matt Baker - Leanne Cole - Dasuke Moriama - My weird imagination - Katie Leeder XXX LOVE YOU ALL GUYS!_

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August 23rd 1934

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_Jasper Hale - Not to be confused with the equally hunky Jasper Cullen, he has multiple personality disorder. We are trying to get him over this but Jasper is in total denial._

_

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_

Ooopsies! Well it wasn't my fault, but the Chinese guy, Nose Furat, turned up (and may I say smelin fine!) and I sort of couldn't help it, he tasted soooooooo good but had a little too much heroin in his system and now I feel dizzy (not a good thing). Carlisle got home just in time and now well, Nose is a well vamp too. Edward's gonna soo take the Mickey when he finds out and Emmet, OMG EMMET! I shall go and slit my wrists, Emo senses taking over. ... DAMN IT! Vampire impenetrable skin. OMG IDEA! I must bite myself. See even your hunky vampires can be Emo self harmers, ahhh my fan girls must be so ashamed, maybe I can go to the garage without them attacking me... DAMN YOU FAN GIRLS! OMG EMMETS HOME! Time to hatch my cunning plan! Alice has just thrown a pillow at me. Edward now knows what is coming and so does she. DAMN IT! Then I saw it the large mirror. I found my self smirking. Emmett ran in with blinding speed. And stopped dead infront of the mirror. He checked himself out and started commenting on his apearence.

"Helooo, you handsome vampie!" Rose walked in staring at her mate. She walked out and came in with a hammer.

"I Might break a nail!" She explained. And joyfully smashed the mirror to tiny snowlike fragments. Emmet fell to the floor wimpering at his lost love. I relinquished my controll on him. He looked at me

"YOU!" I was dead, oh so dead

Laters

Blondie mass murderer turned vegie schoolboy

Rose

Alice

Carlisle

Esme

Edward

and the DWD and TOD crews

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_Authors beyoned awesome note!_

_**Fae - Hai all, what happend Matt nearly killed me caus of you, i will discontinue this if no one even says thanx, baisic manners. Kidding i couldnt stop this if i tryed. **  
_

_**Aken - Well that was awesome, can we be in this?**_

_**Fae - No you belong in DWD and TOD!**_

_**Caitlin - Pweese!**_

_**Fae - only if you pay me back all the cakes you owe me!**_

_**ominous silence**_

_**Av - Please**_

_**Quin - Fae be nice. **_

_**Matt - I hope the reviewers are nice...**_

_**Jasper - Awesome idea with the mirror Fae!**_

_**Fae - It was Quin's idea, thanx anyhow!**_

_**Quin - So can we visit the cullens Fae!**_

_**Fae - I'll leave it to the reviewists!**_

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_**Laters from **_

**_Aken _**

**_Jak _**

**_Jess _**

**_Av _**

**_Caitlin _**

**_Samantha _**

**_Faechan _**

**_Matt _**

**_Davilo _**

**_Lyanne _**

**_Crystal _**

**_Kara _**

**_Karu _**

**_Rose _**

**_Glindia  
_**

**_Tallon _**

**_Sevan _**

**_Fredrick _**

**_Jason _**

**_Hassai _**

**_Quin_**


	4. Messing with Carlisle

_Disclamer - I own none of the twilight characters and no copywright enfragment intended. I however own the plot, Aken, Jak, Jess, Av, Caitlin, Samantha, W.G.M, Matt, Davilo, Lyanne, Crystal, Kara, Karu, Rose, Glindia, Tallon, Sevan, Fredrick, Jason, Hassai, Quin, A couple of random kids, and some popcorn_

_I gave up getting you guys to reveiw. So Quin won. We're going to Forks! (Cheers)  
_

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September 14th 1934

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I - Jasper Cullen, am royaly [Content removed by Aken due to the fact that it was...unsavoury]. I have found new love in a strange human. She and her friends, Caitlin, Aken, Matt and Jak, have moved in next door. I didn't even know we had a next door. Then again, I do spend most of my time these days trying to kill people or messing with my family. They still want us to go to school! Carlisle is being a real douche about it.  
"The younger we start out in a place the longer we can stay there" So I decided it was time for a bit of fun... you see Esme is usualy peaceful and calm, never letting her temper get the best of her. So, idealy, when she goes...well she will go off like a nuke. lolololololololololololololol. Anywayz, back to plotting. But the thing is, whenever I start plotting, I get an image of her. Lyanne. She's beautiful and smells pretty damn good i must say! Kinda like cookies, coffee and a nice undertone of _blood. _anyywaayyzz, goddamnit Jasper! Get a grip! PLOT man! Hehe I'm thinking .. well, I'm thinking of being pretty damn mean. Perhaps..make him grope a patient? Nah that's too far. Hmm..maybe, just maybe, a blonde hooker? Hehe nah, hmm...how about a nice, brunette from town? I think I've seen one perfect for my plan, _and _she's Lyanne's friend! GENIUS! Well, please excuse me, I have to go pat myself on the back for the just perfect genius of my plan.  
Ciao!

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October 24th 1934

I. Am. A. GENIUS! The plan was brilliant, and Esme the poor dear went through the roof! Of course, after Carlisle had been completely and utterly torn to shreds by Esme, he wasn't that pleased. Oh well. He seemed to be ever so slightly miffed when I told him it was all me. Hmm. Meh, I think I'll get over it. Hehe. Well we put him back together after he had got past his rage and was in no way a danger to me. Emmie thaught it was hilarious and it puts me ahead for the Cullen Prankster trophy. Jk, I just made that up but it would be awesome if there was one...hmm. Perchance. What a strange word, perchance. Heh, its like quagmire, the wonderful word quagmire. wonderful. Argh still got Nose Furat in my system. But hellfire and demons ubove and below, if Esme finds me I'm dead. And i mean dead dead. not just dead. Thats two kinds of dead. D E A D. DEAD! DOOMED TO DIE ALONE! Oh and Alice is going on a trip to paris with Rose, for...mental health reasons. Forks is too confined for her shopping needs. I fear she may have got cabin fever. Anyhow with her on the other side of the world i'm gonna get away scott free if I meet up with the gorgeous one that is Lyanne. I started talking to her in the bookstore the other day, she seems real friendly. And mouth wateringly tastey. But anyways, shes seemed kinda interested in vamps. Hmm, I doubt she'd be that freaked out if I told her what I was then, which means drinking from her would be perfect! again, I must point out my geniosity!  
Anyway, must dash, I do believe Esme has discovered my plot and I must flee for my life. That and the fact that Lyanne has a coffee every afternoon at the cafe, at precisely 2:47. And its currently 2:38, so must run!  
Ciao!

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**AN:**

**MAD - Hellooooooooooo! My freshies! Just a quick note to tell you how my amazingly talented (goddamnit .) friend Leanne helped write this one! ain't she just wonderful? n_n**

**Leanne - Yes, yes I am! -bows- Tehe, I must say I am a genius indeed, much cleverer than other Demigora. and Jasper hehe.**

**Jasper - NO YOURE NOT YOU INSIGNIFICANT DEMIGORA! -blushes- But I must say you're rather pretty -giggles like a school girl-**

**Aken - EWwwwwwww! **

**Caitlin - *Shoots Aken* Wimp. **

**MAD - -_-**

**Caitlin - OMG I SHOT AKEN! *cries*  
**

**Leanne - *Drags Caitlin from corps* I'm running late for my coffee, stop being a wimp**

**MAD - Bye!**


	5. So Eddie has a TYPE?

_Disclamer - I own none of the twilight characters and no copyright enfragment intended. _

_Thank you's for this chappie go to _Love is Fearless, my one and only reviewette. =3

September 16th 1934

I arrived in time for Lyanne's coffee break but she spotted me. Luckily she was nice and invited me over for coffee. Suffice to say it was awkward, her offering coffee more and more insistently and me refusing more and more politely. In the end she got...suspicious. Well she grabbed my wrist and jerked her hand back as if it had been burnt.  
"_Vampire_" She whispered. Cursing inwardly I did the only thing left to do. I knocked her out and drove her over to my house. She took an hour to wake up but luckily she didn't seem too...shocked, she knew about vampires. And werewolves. And Demigoda? Demigona? Demigora? One of those.  
"Of course I know about Vampires. Man alive I fought against the Volturi when they were slaughtering the Hexe under the impression that they were a danger to Vampiric safety. Would have killed me too if I wasn't so badass." I asked her very nicely if she was a vampire or werewolf and she had the cheek to laugh at me! She was rolling around the floor in front of me and Carlisle laughing. LAUGHING! Turns out she is some sort of Angel/Demon half breed, a demigora. That means she lives forever too. Carlisle still thinks we should call a mental institute but her mates, Caitlin, Aken, Matt and Jak, vouched for her. Turns out their all weird creatures too, part from Jak who is human and ... full of normal BLOOD! They all have realy weird talents as well. It's creepy. G2G diary Emmie and Ed are home. I wonder...

September 17th 1934

In the closet this time, hiding from Ed and Emmie. Firstly it's not entirely my fault. See I sort of made them fall in love and then I stopped before they started snogging each other's faces off (After all got to keep this T, and the writer doesn't do soppy romance, or Yaoi or Yuri, or anything above T, cause she is like...13...You know everyone she knows is 16-17-18-72. Her 13. Anyhow got to stop breaking the fourth wall) And then Ed shouted at me and said,  
"HOW COULD YOU! Emmet is by far not my type! And he is like, gahhhh! At least make me fall in love with someone hawt!" Well as you may think, Emmie lost it, summink about Ed's giant ego needing taking down a peg. And how  
"Oh so now little Eddie has a type." That sort of thing. So I'm hiding from the arguing. The heated argument is causing their moods to rapidly change and is giving me whiplash. Gah

**AN:  
MAD: Hi guys!  
Lyanne: Poor Jaspy poo. Mean Eddie and Emmie...hehe it was hilarious though, no one noticed I was on the sofa the whole time!  
Jazz – Oh crap...**

**Read and Review guys x**


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